The A Team Revisited

In 1972 a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. In 2005 a crack drunken unit (fuelled by lemon Absolute mixed with ginger ale and Coronas) argued who they would have play different characters if they were re-making The A Team. Today, not wanted by any TV producers, they survive as office-workers of no fortune. If you have some ideas, and no one else will listen, maybe you can recreate the A-Team.

Our new, certainly-not-improved, A Team cast include:

* Colonel John Hannibal Smith: Sean Connery - authority + right colour hair + ability to smoke cigars

* Lieutenant Templeton 'Face' Peck: Colin Farrell (pretty boy enough and not one for fighting)

* Sergeant Bosco 'B.A.' Baracus: A tough one. We ended up agreeing on 'The Rock'

* Captain 'Howling Mad' Murdock: Will Farrell (without the elf costume)

Not content with ruining the 80s classic with this list we then ended up creating the 'B' team (where B = British)

* Hannibal: Roy Walker (yes, we could have had Sean again but Roy would add a certain something - such as saying "It's good but it's not right" when the plan doesn't come together)

* Face: Robbie Williams (he could also be understudy for Murdock, though we came up with a far stronger character here)

* B.A.: Grant Mitchell from 'EastEnders'

* HMM: Freddie Star was an obvious choice